I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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