i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
