I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
