Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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