Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
