She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
