East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
