some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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