I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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