so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
