Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
