either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
