i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Damn victory sex feels great
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
