I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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