Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
