Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
