Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
