I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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