He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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