The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
