she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
