I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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