Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
