You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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