I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
