I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
