I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
