yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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