i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
