i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's never too late to be topless.
There's always time for handjobs
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
