yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
