I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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