I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
