super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
