I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
