Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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