she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize