I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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