I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize