I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
