whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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