I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
well you can't waste a boner
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
