Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
