my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
