my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
COCAINE IS GR8
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
