Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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