okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize