my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
