white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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