she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
