i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
