we're blogging at a bar
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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