Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
