Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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