Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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