Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
