ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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