smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
