If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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