fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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