I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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