gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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