Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
