He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize