I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
