you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
