My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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