I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
