i don't like sucking hair
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
only if we run a train.
done.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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